My 10 Year Mystery

Occasionally in my life, I'll come across things that wanting to remember I'll jot down on a piece of paper so later I can devote more time to. These are things like when you hear a song on the radio that you want to hear again. You'll listen to the end of the song and hope that the DJ will announce the title, or hearing a snippet of news you find interesting you take note of the key points, or a persons name so you can later get on the internet and research to your hearts content. Well, ten years ago while abroad we were staying in a hotel in London. My parents had gone out for the night leaving us brothers (and a cousin) in the hotel to watch television and fend for ourselves. Looking back I don't know why we didn't decide to go out exploring.

Anyways, that night on television there was an old black and white b-movie that I can remember catching my attention. All I can remember is that it was a black and white film about a boy who goes to live with a relative who owns a themed mausoleum where people can choose to be buried in a plot of their choice (like an Egyption theme, or garden theme, etc). Don't remember much but, know that I was entranced by whatever I saw. I've always been a fan of old b-movies. back to my story though, I was dozing off to sleep while watching the show but made note of the channel it was on so that in the morning I could wake up and look in the paper (which was sitting on the table just a few feet above me) the title of this film and watch it when I got home. I don't remember crawling into bed, nor my parents coming back but, when I awoke in the morning I totally forgot about my plan to find out the movie title for future viewing. Well, later that day when I finally came to my senses the newspaper had been thrown away leaving me with a movie I really want to see and no way to find it.

Now this happened with the Internet was still relatively in its infancy. There was no such thing as the internet movie database and DVD players were just hitting the market. My only hope would be asking at the local video rental store if anyone had any idea what I was looking for. I looked (maybe just a little) and not knowing what else to do I put my search on the back burner in my brain only to occasionally search for it by whatever means I could.

I leave the country for a few years and when I come back I find that the internet has changed quite a bit in my absence. I try looking this movie up on Yahoo, Google and, whatever else I could get my hands on hoping that the words like "Black and White," "Funeral Home," would get me the movie results. A few years later, my cousin told me that he remembered somewhere in the movie Nazi soldiers coming to the funeral home wanting to build some kind of space ship. I didn't remember anything about it but, it gave me a few more words to look for online. One day I went to the library and flipped through these books on b-movies, and b-movie encyclopedias hoping to solve my riddle but to no avail. Still lost I gave up my search figuring that the only way I would ever find this out was by seeing it on television again. I didn't even know what I was looking for and figured that I would probably never find it out.

Years later (circa 2 months ago), my older brother gave me a free month subscription to Netflix. After seeing thier vast library of films, it sparked my interest again and I searched their website for the film, using the same (ineffective) movie tags I'd used in the past but, still nothing. I searched the Internet Movie Database and still could find nothing. One day I found on the internet an online b-movie shrine with a forum to discuss b-movies. I figured looking at what these guys had been chatting about already they would have no problem solving my problem (this was about a month ago). I explained the movie and the plot synopsis to them only to get a reply a few days later that nobody on the forum had any idea what I was talking about. I gave up my search. I felt like I imagine Ralphy felt like on the Christmas Story when he is told by Santa [he won't be getting a gun for Christmas because] "You'll shoot your eye out kid". I slipped into depression, drugs and alcohol use (thats a joke) but, got a little upset knowing that if these online b-movie junkies didn't know it I would probably never find it out.

Last night, I thought I'd give my search one more try. I went to another online b-movie forum and interestingly enough, they had a topic entitled "What was that film?" With fingers shaking and palms sweaty I typed in the following message.

Hi, I saw what had to be a B-Movie years ago and never found out the title of it... Years later I am still haunted by it and want to find out what it was that I was watching. To make things worse, I can only remember bits and pieces of the movie. If anyone can piece together what little info I remember and can help me pin point this movie I will be forever in your gratitude.

First of all, it was black and white. The protagonist was a boy, who worked at a cemetery/funeral home/mausoleum (which belonged to a relative?) This funeral home I believe had themed areas, like an Egyptian room, or a garden room and people could come and choose where they would like to be "put to rest". Now I think there were soldiers (most likely Nazis?) or some military commander who wanted to use something at the mortuary to make a space rocket..? That’s all I remember because, I don't think I was awake when the movie ended. When I saw it I was in England and, remember the film being shown in English. Don't know if that was the original language the show was filmed in though.

I remember watching it thinking to myself, this is awesome! I'll definitely watch this movie when I get home yet, never knowing what indeed I saw, years later am still looking.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

I get home from watching Harry Potter V: The Order of the Pheonix (great movie by the way... even better book) and decided to check my forum, expecting to get shot down yet again. In less than 24 hours I have not one answer but two...

The movie you are thinking of is THE LOVED ONE, a truly bizarre black comedy with a stellar cast:

Jonathan Winters
Dana Andrews
Milton Berle
James Coburn
John Gielgud
Tab Hunter
Liberace
Roddy McDowall
Robert Morley
and in a truly twisted performance...Rod Steiger as "Mr. Joyboy"

It's available on a recently released DVD. Strange strange movie. Perfect for this board.

and

THE LOVED ONE was just shown this week on TCM. Gerry is right, though he doesn't mention the lead Robert Morse (got to admit I don't remember Tab Hunter) the film you are looking to identify is THE LOVED ONE. Though your description is not entirely accurate, it without doubt describes no other flick.

What? Is this it? Have I found my Holy Grail? Can I now have that portion of my brain back that has been obsessing about this movie for years and years? Here is the description of the movie from off the movie database:

Newly arrived in Hollywood from England, Dennis Barlow finds he has to arrange his uncle's interment at the highly-organised and very profitable Whispering Glades funeral parlour. His fancy is caught by one of their cosmeticians, Aimee Thanatogenos. But he has three problems - the strict rules of owner Blessed Reverand Glenworthy, the rivalry of embalmer Mr Joyboy, and the shame of now working himself at The Happy Hunting Ground pets' memorial home.

Is this it? I have no idea but, I'm thinking yes. Now all I have to do is beg one of my brothers to rent it for me. Those online movie rental places have everything. Just think, maybe now with that recovered brain space I just might be able to learn Japanese. I'm as happy as a clam.

Tursdae

I had a nice night going shopping and to dinner with my mom tonight. We took a trip to a local Chinese restaurant and then to the mall. Although I've never considered conversation a strong point of mine, I had a nice time. It was the first time in a long, long time that it was just she and I. I'll miss her but, its good to know that she'll always be my mom.

Today I'd like to think I got a lot done in terms of cleaning. There is a lot of work to do but, little by little I'm getting it done. Ayumi and I bought a sofa at a thrift store five years ago which was in really good condition when we picked it up. I can't imagine it was at the store for more than half an afternoon (because for $30.00 anyone would be a fool to have not taken it). We bought a nice couch cover for it and Ayumi made some cushions and we've been using it ever since. Before we bought the cover, we thought it would be easy reupholstering it by ourselves (with fabric we had bought) and after getting half the bottom off decided to abort that idea and just buy a slip. Well, the bottom was always half hanging out and we've been able to just tuck it under the couch but, I figure if we are going to try and sell it I better fix what I had undone. Well, I nailed it back into place and washed the cover. Whoever walks home with that sofa is one dang lucky person. It was a cute couch (thanks to Ayumi).

I never thought cleaning a house you were moving from would be so hard. My style of cleaning has always been classified as "taking stuff from one room and just hiding it in another". Whether or not that is true, knowing I can't conveniently stash one item inside something else is not easy. One plus I have though is I've basically got three piles. Stuff I want to sell, stuff to take to Japan and, stuff to store at mom's house. I can just imagine when this Japan expedition is over and Ayumi and I are sorting through all this saved junk we'll both wonder why we decided to keep a lot of this junk.

I'll Start With a Quote

Years ago as a missionary, I came across a quote that I really liked. It was given by President N. Eldon Tanner years ago at a General Conference. When I heard this I immediately took to liking it and wrote it down. The quote is as follows:

The tongue is the most dangerous, destructive, and deadly weapon available to man. A vicious tongue can ruin the reputation and even the future of the one attacked. Insidious attacks against one's reputation, loathsome innuendos, half-lies about an individual are as deadly as those insect parasites that kill the heart and life of a mighty oak. They are so stealthy and cowardly that one cannot guard against them. [CR, April 1972, p. 57]

Today I was caught off guard and said some things that I probably shouldn't have. Not only that but, I was totally out of character when I was saying it. I am not sure how the receiver received it but I, the deliver, have felt like crap all day long. It goes back to this quote. Once you say something you can't take it back and unfortunately once every now and then you've got to re-learn this the hard way. I've always been one who has tried to keep my opinions to myself but, for some reason today I thought I had to speak my mind. There is another saying I've come to liking that goes something like

"The best thing I've ever said came ten minutes late".

How many times have you said something only to run the conversation through your head over-and-over only to come to the conclusion of how you should have said it thats where I am now. Well, c'est~la~vie; All I can do is apologize and keep on keeping on.

On a different note, today I spent three hours scanning important documents onto my computer so I don't have to bring the hard copies to Japan with me. These are things like taxes, bank information, Ayumi's green card application stuff etc. Things I'd rather have a copy of in case they come back to haunt me. I scanned about three hundred pages and tried my best to organize it so if I need to retrieve it (which I hope I don't) it won't take me too long.

I'm now just realizing how little time I have and how much I have to do. Ayumi is plugging away in Japan trying to find us a place to live. The school over there provided an apartment for us which Ayumi went to see but, we can't have our cat there. It turns out o.k. though because Ayumi told me it was in bad shape and the current tenant tells us there is quite a mildew problem. She's been looking around in Shima and the nearby cities and may have found a gem. Waiting for more details.

The sunburn on my back is finally starting to crack and peel. The past few nights, in order to sleep all I could do was lay on my back with arms crossed on my chest (just like Dracula) to sleep without hurting. You know when you burn your tongue and it hurts for the next day. Seriously it was like that all along my back and shoulders. Something I haven't experienced in probably over ten years. Growing up it was second nature but, when you don't get it too often you lose your tolerance to it.

I went to the library today and got a Bing Crosby CD. A little more dated than I thought. I was thinking this was going to be the Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin genre... wrong. Although nice, this music sounds like it was recorded in the twenties and the voice sung into a shoe box. I like old-timey music. I think it would be so cool to sing with a full band behind you. Yet another dream I'll never realize. (Not with this attitude!) I'm off to bed!

A Minor Setback

I had a great time at the reunion. A little sunburned though. Full of fun people, exciting activities and more junk food than you can shake a stick at. As a result, all my eating probably set me back a couple of days. Oh well, all I can do is keep exercising.

Looking at all the pictures of me in the water I've come to realize that I am uber-white. I need to spend a little more time in the sun lest I blind all those people at the beach in Shima. Its past midnight and I need to hit the hay. More later.

Photos of Shima, a sunburn and a hurt head

We're back from the reunion. I really had a great time. There is a quote I once heard that mentions something about true friendship is being able to sit with your friend, say nothing at all and still feel like you've had the best conversation. That is how I feel with my family; at this reunion. It didn't matter what we did but, just being there was so much fun and you could feel the love everyone has for each other. My family (both sides) is pretty tight-knit.

While up there, thinking I could use a little sun, thought I could endure a little while in the river without any sunscreen. Now I know if Ayumi were there she would have told me to put some on but, never thinking it will go as bad as it always did I ran and played in the sun. We had a great time, floating down the freezing river on about a 100 yard course through shallow water down small eddies and rough rocks. Two hours later I put my shirt on only to find later that night I was in total pain. I realized my mistake had caused my back to burn making me look more like a lobster than myself. To make matters worse it hurts every time I move.

The hurt head comes from me walking into the door frame with my left eyebrow while I was just getting up from a short nap. That smarts! I think I may have a lump tomorrow. I'm falling apart without Ayumi.

To the Reunion

This morning we're heading up to a family reunion for my mom's side of the family. Pretty excited as that side of the family is particularally fun. Also, the last time I'll see a lot of them for a long time... However, I only see them once every few years anyways so, not that big of a deal. I haven't been writing about it but, I've been really diligent in exercising the past couple of days. Yesterday being the fourth, the gym was closed but, dad and I still did out lower body exerciese in his office with dumbells. My legs are more sore today than they've been in a long time. Also, I've been tracking my weight and I'm down about 4.5-5 lbs since I started. Not trim but, still looking better than before.

Ayumi is in Japan and all is well. Hershey our cat apparently had a hard time with the travel, along with being in a new place I think she is probally in doki-doki mode (panic mode). Ayumi tells me however that she is adjusting and finally relaxing, never far from Ayumi's side. I just hope she dosen't freak out when we move again at the end of the month.

I've been in contact with my predecessor in Shima who has been giving me information little-by-little over the course of the past few days and here is what I know so far:
-I teach at two schools. One 3 days a week, the other 2. I get to take a ferry to school. Probally expensive.

-The apartment we are going to live in is owned by the school and is apparently where all the other teachers live too. Bedroom, two tatami (bamboo matted) rooms, dining, kitchen. Sounds pretty big but, also said that it is old... with a mildew problem in the summer. Lots of bugs too.

-Shima is like the resort town of all the people who live in Kyoto, Osaka, Nagoya and other nearby cities. The beaches (as you can see in the pictures from the prior posts) are white sandy with blue water (I would assume though that those pictures have been digitally enhanced). There are also a lot of onsens (public baths with natural spring water) in the town so, a pretty relaxing spot. Perfect for a lazy dude like myself. Ayumi and her dad are going to be heading down there this weekend to check out the place. Nobody in her family has been there so, I think it will be fun for all. Hopefully, when I get back from the reunion on Saturday I'll have some fun pictures to look at. Also, Ayumi is going to see if she can meet my predecessor and maybe look at the apartment. The biggest concern is whether or not we can have Hershey there. If yes, we'll probally move in. If no we can either smuggle her in (as reccomended by my predecessor) or we'll move somewhere else (something we were planning on doing anyways). Time will tell.

Ayumi has started a blog to document life in Japan... at least until she says I get over there and can take it over. Expect fun pictures to be found there. The address is:
http://kaeruz.blogspot.com/

And My Fate Is...

A little place called Shima. I'm not kidding when I say little; 19,000 people. Don't know too much about the place but, when I google the name these lovely pictures pop up. A lovely scene of a sunrise over what appears to be "water". In the top right, a lady doing the traditional pearl diving (a la James Bond, The Spy Who Loved Me) and a pretty cool looking beach. This is a link to a live picture somewhere in Shima. Ayumi leaves for the airport in about 3 hours so... I'll write more later.